Carmel Learners #1

2017.12.06

This is the first writing of my Carmel experience so far, with Dan Calinescu.

All I can say is that this challenge, this new thing I must learn, I was quite expecting all my life.

I’ve ran from it for a long time, about 10 years so that I can put some numbers. After finishing high school with 7 hours of informatics a week, I’ve set my mind to try to make money some other way than desk work.

I’ve worked in a factory, worked in constructions, worked as a sports teacher, worked as a carpenter… All those jobs didn’t satisfy me so I kept on searching.

… until my world changed.

I’ve had my 10 year high school reunion, where I could compare my achievements. All I can say is that I was dissapointed of myself. So I started to have a huge motivation to make a big change.

I’ve met the girl I want to spend my life with, the other catalist. She found me a desk job, into a selling firm, where I stayed for very little time.

Because there I had my revelation (yeah, for me it was a very big thing): “Why should I stay at this desk and earn how much I’m earning now, when I could learn how to be a developer and earn much, much more?”.

So I applied for a tester’s position. And got accepted.

I use this time as a tester partly to become more familiar with the work at an office, a thing I have’t done much during my lifetime. I could say that I use this time to “learn” the desk job, so I can adapt and change my life harmoniously around it.

For example, I’ve put on some weight in the first months, so I had to be more carefull on the diet and the quantity of food I’m eating.

I know I can do it, this developer stuff.

I’ve never had the motivation for it… until now.

I’m going to be a husband very soon, childern are going to come, lots of expenses…

Right now I am not ready for all this.

And I find that having a lower pay than my female partener is quite offending to my male role and purpose in the relationship… don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind her having a better payed job, but what bothers me is the ideea that I CAN bring more money into the family, I WANT that… mostly for her, so that she can feel more secure, happy and pround of her husband.

I’m happy with this opportunity that I have through Dan.

I really believe that my God made this possible.

It’s too good to be a pure change.

Lord God helped me everytime I needed help. He never left me. Not even a second.

God was and God IS good to me, mecyfull and kind.

And even this Carmel project is not the way that God prepared for me to be able to provide for my family, because I can’t know right now for sure, I am still confident there are things waiting to be discovered that will help me, now or later on.

I enter into this project with no expectation, just with an open mind, ready to take in anything that might appear usefull for me.

And until I can get  started with the project, I will do my best in my current QA tester position at work, and will try to maintain the highest score in my team, for 3 consecutive months already. I am so glad that I can do this “desk” work with such performances. It enourages me to continue.

 

P.S. I must write something about the meeting we’ve had. It was a good talk, it made me understand more clearly some things I’ve been thinking. I do believe I can be a good developer. The only risk or downside to this type of job is the way it changes your mind in time. And Dan really understands how an artist is much better than a math-centered person in this field of work. I’ve always been an engineer, and I’ve always seen myself as thinking in math logic. And, if this type of job is not for me, I’ll find out when I’ll get to work a bit in it. I don’t like to make assumptions, they don’t help me much, so, all I know is that I’ll do my every possible best.

 

 

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